


Deserving

by Suguha7



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, I Miss Minhyun So Much, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, Minhyun-centric, Multi, My First Fanfic, POV Hwang Minhyun, Self-Esteem Issues, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 06:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12007446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suguha7/pseuds/Suguha7
Summary: The Wanna One members are swamped with schedules, with only 1-2 hours of sleep per day. One day, Minhyun wakes up with a more disorientated than usual and makes a mistake. In Minhyun's POV





	1. Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first fic! I hope you guys would be kind and understanding when reading this as I'm seriously an amateur at writing... Thanks in advance for reading this! ^.^

I woke up with a start, feeling disorientated as I lay on my bed. My entire body ached, my throat burned and I at that moment I was sick. I knew rest was the most effective to heal quicker and I didn’t want to delay the schedules and burden everyone. Hence, I tried to get comfortable and go back to sleep, feeling my body relax and my mind slowly slipping into dreamland… 

Only to get startled awake as I hear a knock on the door of the room, with Jisung calling out, “Guys… It’s time to wake up… We need to leave for dance practice in 15 minutes.”

Turning around in my bed, I faced the door and peeked at Jisung from under my covers. His face was haggard and he seemed extremely tired, his eyebags making him seem like he had not slept in days. It was partly true though, all of us only getting a few hours of sleep everyday due to our hectic schedules. Taking pity on Jisung, I decide not to be a burden and wake up instead.

Pulling myself into a sitting position, I decided to make things easier for him and help him wake up the rest too. Opening my mouth to inform him, my voice came out as a strangled noise. Determined to be of help, I cleared my throat and finally my voice decided to work.

“Don’t worry hyung, I’ll wake up the others, you should go and wake up the rest.” 

“Thanks, I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Minhyun-ah.” He gratefully thanked me and he proceeded to trudge off to the other room, shoulders slightly more relaxed.

Spacing out for a second, I sighed and decided to stand up from my sitting position. What I didn’t expect was for the room to start spinning when I stood up, black spots creeping into my vision.

I staggered, to my left, or was it my right? Wildly flailing my arms around to find something to grab on before I fell. I managed to grab onto what I supposed was the bunk bed’s bed frame and took deep breaths, blinking multiple times to try and clear my vision.

Slowly, my vision returned and I set off to wake my roommates, nudging them awake silently.

~~Time skip~~

With everyone awake, the dorm was a mess, people rushing in and out of the bathroom to get ready to go. The maknae line was especially cheerful today morning and was chattering loudly with one another while getting ready. I silently cringed at the sharp pain I felt in my head every time there was a spike in the noise level. Normally, I would be smiling fondly at how they were so adorable and cheerful, but today, I couldn’t stand how they looked so happy and how noisy they were being. 

The pain in my head was spiking as the maknaes got louder, seemingly lost in conversation about something interesting they found out. As the pounding in my head got worse, I felt myself getting slowly irritated at them, my mouth opening, wanting to ask them to lower down their volume.

However, instead of asking them softly to be lower their voices, my request came out as a yell.

“Can you guys just shut up! There is no need to be so cheerful and loud in the morning! Can’t people have some peace and quiet when they wake up?! Your voices are so annoying and I don’t want to hear about some stupid discovery you guys made!”

With that, my brain finally caught up with what I said and I instantly regretted what I just did. The entire dorm was so silent that I could probably hear a pin drop. My outburst had led everyone to stare at me in shock and slowly the maknaes curled in on themselves with looks of fear and Daehwi burst into tears.

The break in silence seemed to shake everyone out of their shocked states and Jisung, Daniel and Seongwoo rushed over to try and calm down the maknaes, Daniel giving me a glare. They gently led the maknaes over to the couch, hugging and petting their heads soothingly. Jaehwan silently stared at me, before shaking his head at me in disappointment and slowly walked over at the maknaes, hovering around them. My heart dropped at the scene and I felt someone tug at my arm, leading me out of the living room in a daze.

I was brought over to my bed and I looked at Sungwoon with a lost expression as he sat me down on the bed. His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed like he was thinking a thousand miles a minute as he faced the floor while standing in front of me. After what seemed like hours, his face smoothed out and he took a breath, looking at me with a determined face on. 

“I don’t know what is wrong with you today, but I have to say that you made a terrible mistake and I am very disappointed at your actions. What you did is inexcusable and I hope you know that. You do know that you have to apologise to the maknaes right? You are one of their dependable hyungs and you lashed out at them for being noisy?! Not only that, but you even called them annoying… I don’t think they’ll forgive and trust you easily again… You have hurt their feelings badly and destroyed their image of you. I hope you’ll reflect deeply on what you did and give the maknaes space to recover from what you did. Stay here and reflect and I’ll call you out when it’s time to leave.”

With that, he left the room, shutting the door behind him. I felt sick to my stomach about the entire thing, the scene of me yelling at the maknaes and the glares, disappointed looks and the looks of the fear from the maknaes flashing through my head non-stop. My vision started blurring and I felt droplets of water falling onto my lap. Raising my hands up to my face, I realising I had started unconsciously crying. This realisation seemed to trigger me into crying even harder, finally letting out a few soft sobs as I bent my head down and placed my hands back onto my lap.

~~Time Skip~~

I had calmed down from my crying, my headache having gotten worse due to the crying and was just staring emptily at my hands when Sungwoon knocked on the door and called out that it was time to leave. Swaying from side to side as I walked, I left the dorm, noticing that the dorm was empty already. 

“The maknaes and a few of the others left in the other van already. Jisung didn’t want them to feel scared during the ride to the practice room for being in the same van as you.”

I hung my head guiltily as my heart dropped even further at the thought that the kids were afraid of me just by me being in the same van as them. Reaching the van, Sungwoon opened the door to the greetings of Daniel, Jaehwan and Jihoon. The greetings tapered off when they saw me, their faces emotionless as they turned away from me in silence. I felt my heart shatter as my face crumpled in distress. 

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for the silent ride to the practice room as I stepped into the van.


	2. Aftermath

We were practicing Energetic for the 5th time when we were given a water break for 5 minutes. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my mind flashing back to when I entered the practice room. The fearful looks of the maknaes when they saw me broke my heart but what got me the most was them turning their backs on me, when I tried apologising to them.

Shaking myself out of my daze, I continued standing in front of the mirror, making no move to pick up a bottle of water even though I felt thirsty. I was punishing myself for what I did, I didn’t deserve water, even if I was sick, feeling nauseous and lightheaded. I will not be a burden, I have done enough to hurt people. I deserve it, I thought to myself.

Soon, the water break was over and I went back to the starting position, ready to begin practice. 

The 6th run of Energetic was fine, the 7th had me feeling even more nauseous and dizzy. The 8th had me bumping into Seongwoo slightly as we changed positions, seeing his face turn dark when I bumped into him for the 3rd time during the song. The 9th time was when black spots started creeping into my vision and I started screwing up badly as I bumped into multiple people. I was very disorientated and I could feel my face going pale rapidly. I crashed onto the hard floor, gasping for air desperately as my vision started going dark. 

The last thing I remembered was everyone crowding around me, someone shaking me and screaming my name as I slipped into unconsciousness. 

“I’m sorry”

~~Time Skip~~

The surface I was lying on was soft and my head was in someone’s lap as they stroked my hair gently in a soothing motion. I laid there, not wanting it to stop as tears slid down my face. I had failed, I let my weakness get the best of me and fainted during dance practice. How much of I failure am I?

The hand in my hair stopped stroking as the person noticed my tears, cupping my face instead, to wipe the tears off.

“Minhyun hyung, I know you’re awake. Come on, please open your eyes for me?”

Ah, it was Daniel’s lap that I was laying on. I reluctantly opened my eyes, only to see that I was lying on the dorm’s couch and that everyone else was sitting on the ground looking at me. I opened my mouth, about to apologise again only to be stopped by Seongwoo, “Minhyun hyung, you shouldn’t talk, your throat should be hurting…”

The moment he mentioned my throat I was aware of how much my throat hurt and my head was still pounding. A wave of nausea came over me and my face rapidly paled as I brought my hand up to cover my mouth.

“Uhhh… I don’t think hyung is feeling good… Ummm… He looks like he’s about to vomit!” exclaimed Woojin.

“Someone pass him a bucket or something!” screeched Jisung.

Guanlin scrambled to the kitchen and came back in seconds with a bucket. Passing the bucket over to Daniel who immediately placed it in front of me. I couldn’t control it any longer and proceeded to throw up into the bucket. I felt awful as I retched into the bucket, only stopping after what seemed like days. Daniel was patting my back, making sounds of comfort, attempting to calm me down as I started coughing, tears streaming down my face.

When I calmed down, I could see that everyone was staring at me in concern. Why would they be concerned about me? I don't deserve it. 

“Why do you think you don't deserve our care and concern, Minhyun-ah?” 

Oh, I spoke aloud accidentally… 

“Nothing, Sungwoon hyung.”

“It’s not nothing if you feel like you don't deserve our love and care. We cherish you as a member of Wanna One and we do not want to see you suffer.”

“I just… I didn't want to be a burden to you guys so I can have kept quiet about being sick but I ended up hurting the maknaes and I even fainted during dance practice! I’m so weak and useless so I don't deserve everyone’s care and concern!” I ranted as I sat up, gasping for air as black spots appeared in my vision again.

Daniel shushed me, gently hugging me and pulling me back down into a laying position. 

“I don't think Minhyun hyung is in any condition to be further aggravated so shall we discuss about this when he’s in the better condition?” Daniel spoke in a soft voice.

“Yes, I agree. I think Minhyun should recover from his illness first… The doctor checked up on you, Minhyun-ah. He said you had a fever, a sore throat and was dehydrated. Apparently, you are also malnourished… You are confined to bed rest for the next 2 days.” explained Jisung.

“I think Minhyun hyung just has to concentrate on getting better and know that we, the maknae line, forgive him for lashing out at us as we know that he wasn’t trying to be mean but was actually feeling unwell. All of us love you, Minhyun hyung!” 

"Yes hyung! Daehwi's right!"

Ah... Daehwi and Guanlin, our beloved maknaes, thank you for putting my heart at ease, my heart hurts less now that you guys no longer hate me... Tears were welling up in my eyes at how forgiving they are, how they are so kind to forgive me when I am the one that hurt them. 

"Me too. I'm sorry for glaring at you and ignoring you during the ride to dance practice hyung..." Daniel softly said.

The rest chimed in, apologising to me at how harsh they treated me, telling me to get well soon and that they love me. I feel so touched and loved that I teared up, snuggling up to Daniel as I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, I deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually unsure if I should write another chapter about how Minhyun recovers or whether I should leave it ending like that... Comment down below for whether I should end it like this or write another last chapter! Thanks in advance!


	3. Recovery

I don’t really remember how I fell asleep but I woke up feeling rested. Opening my eyes and seeing the bottom of the top bunk bed, it seemed that someone had bought me to my bed. There was something on my forehead and I reached up to grab it. Oh, it’s a cloth… It feels warm to the touch…

Pushing myself up into a sitting position, I saw a basin of water on the floor next to my bed, two cloths soaked in the water. Just then, I heard the door click open quietly and turned around, only to see Jaehwan slowly inch into the room through a small gap between the door and wall. 

“Jaehw-”

A sharp pain shot through my throat. I winced and squeezed my eyes together, my hands fisting the sheets of the bed. After a few seconds, the pain died down a little and I opened my eyes, to see Jaehwan turn around so fast that he might get whiplash. His eyes widened at the sight of my pained face and made his way over to me, not bothering to close the door properly behind him. 

“Ah hyung! Didn’t Seongwoo hyung and Jisung hyung tell you that you shouldn’t be talking as you have a sore throat?!”

 

~Start of Flashback~

“Minhyun-ah, eat your medicine now and remember not to speak at all for these 2 days okay? The doctor said that you have to rest your voice.” 

“Yeah, you gotta listen to Jisung hyung, Minhyun-ah! That way you can recover well!” 

I nodded, washing the medicine down my throat with water, before laying back onto Daniel on the couch. Feeling relaxed and comfortable, I closed my eyes under the loving and concerned faces of everyone and drifted off to Daniel gently massaging my head by combing his fingers gently through my hair.

~End of Flashback~

 

“Oops…” I mouthed to Jaehwan, sheepishly scratching my head and nodding at the reminder. He sighed, patting me on my shoulder gently before taking the cloth that I placed on the bed, placing it on the floor instead.

“Lie down, Minhyun hyung.” 

Not wanting to make him anymore aggravated, I decided to listen to him and lied down. Taking out one of the cloths soaked in the basin, he squeezed the cloth to rid it of excess water and folded the cloth haphazardly into two, placing the cloth on my forehead. The cloth was cold, making me shiver as I realised the previous cloth had actually warmed up from the heat my forehead was radiating.

Jaehwan frowned as he observed me shivering, cocking his head to the side as he looked deep in thought. He pouted as he furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly unappeased by something. I shot him a questioning look, only to hear a knock at the door and quick pattering of what seemed like multiple pairs of feet on the floors come to a stop beside me.

“Hyung! You’re awake! Are you feeling any better?”

“Minhyun hyung! I miss you so much! You’ve been sleeping for the past 12 hours! You have to get well soon hyung!”

“Jinyoung! Minhyun hyung’s sick that’s why he has to sleep so many hours and rest well! That’s how he’ll be able to recover fast!”

“Ah… I didn’t think of that… Wah, Jihoon hyung is so smart!”

Jaehwan looked on in amusement at the conversation between Jihoon and Jinyoung, smiling at them fondly, before remembering that he was thinking about something important and went back to pouting again. Jihoon and Jinyoung turned to look at him, giving him questioning looks and then turned around to look at me again.

I was still shivering at the coldness, the coldness that seemed to have spread from my forehead to my entire body. My body started aching, caused by the chills that I was having. My face scrunched up in discomfort, tears welling up in my eyes due to how much pain I was in. In an instant, my dongsaengs’ eyes widened and a flurry of activity happened. 

Jaehwan quickly left the room in a rush, seemingly going to get help, while Jihoon and Jinyoung climbed into my bed, each of them settling on one side of me, snuggling up to me. 

I no longer felt so cold anymore, feeling more comforted by their body heat close to me, warming me up. I smiled, distracted from the pain I was feeling by how cute they looked snuggling up to me. Jihoon even wrapped his legs around one of my legs, tangling our legs together. Meanwhile, Jinyoung peered at me, shyly smiling at me as one of his hands were clasped with mine, giving mine a squeeze as he saw my fond smile.

Then, the door opened, the noise level rising as all the rest of the members came into the room, with Jisung in the front of the group with Jaehwan, coming to a stop at my bedside. 

“Minhyun-ah! How do you feel? Jihoon and Jinyoung, why are you guys disturbing Minhyun’s rest?”

“Jisung hyung, Jinyoungie and I are not disturbing Minhyun hyung! Hyung was feeling cold and miserable and so we are helping him feel more comfortable and warm by cuddling!”

I nodded my head at Jisung hyung, trying to convey to him that I wasn’t being bothered by them and that they were trying to help.

Jisung hyung sighed, before nodding his head resignedly after a few seconds. 

“WAHHH NO FAIR I WANT TO CUDDLE WITH MINHYUN HYUNG TOO! WHY DO JIHOON AND JINYOUNG GET TO CUDDLE HIM ONLY! IT’S NOT FAIRRR”

“Seongwoo hyung’s right! I want to cuddle with Minhyun hyung too!”

“You see, even Daehwi agrees with me! I vote we take turns to cuddle with Minhyunie! That’s the fair and proper way to do things!”

Everyone started to nod in agreement.

Jisung sighed again, nodding once more, before adding, “To be fair then, 2 hours per pair okay? So that there won’t be any fights about how a pair had more cuddling time with Minhyunie… Provided Minhyun is okay with this arrangement?” 

I blushed at the thought of how much love everyone was willing to shower on me, nodding shyly in agreement. 

I felt so loved.

And it was that moment, that I realised I was so blessed to have their love and support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I wasn't that sure if my writing skills are good enough to write a good fic but I'm glad I tried, even if it's just for the experience. Thank you for bearing with me for this rather short journey of writing this fic! ^.^

**Author's Note:**

> Comments would make my day!


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